Wheres My Libido

Where's My libido??

There are many things that can send your sex drive off the road into the ditch. Here are a few of them and some ways to get back on the libido highway!

Stress

The most common reason that sex drive fizzles out is stress. If you are having financial issues, frazzled by your parenting duties, having issues with home or car repairs, whatever it is that stresses you out; then its no wonder that when its time to hop in the sack that the last thing on your mind is being intimate.

Some ways to help deal with your stresses are:

• Find someone to talk to about the things that stress you out. Whether it is your partner, a best friend or even a professional, talking about your stressful issues and finding resolutions is the best way to de-stress your life.
• Schedule time for yourself. Selfishness gets such a bad rap! If you do not have the energy for yourself, how are you going to have the energy for others? Take time every day of time alone to just do something that you love to do. Take a hot bath, listen to your favorite music, call up a good friend and have a laugh or two, take time to read a couple chapters of a book. These types of things will amazingly reduce your stress levels. They may not take away the things that stress you, but they help you to be calmer and deal with the stressful situation better.
• Eat healthy and get enough rest. If your body is run down, your energy levels are low and thus you do not cope with stress as well. Start simple by eating regular meals at regular times. Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables for a quick snack rather than grabbing salty chips or a soda. Lack of sleep is a major issue and as you can see by the next topic, also a libido killer!

Feeing Fatigued

Another common complaint is simply being totally tired, wiped out, too pooped to pop! (Pun intended!) When your daily activities leave you so exhausted that you can barely shower or get undressed for bed by the end of the day, then you defiantly need to change some things in your life. See the list above for ways to deal with stress. Stress and Fatigue go hand in hand and the solutions are often the similar. Also,

• Get plenty of exercise. Strangely enough not enough physical exercise can cause fatigue because your body is not fit and able to handle any physical activity out of the norm and is not able to handle the effects of stress.
• Here is a great WebMD video about that very subject. http://www.webmd.com/video/exercises-better-sex

Boredom in the Boudoir

Yes, boredom in the bedroom happens. The same routine over and over becomes blasé and soon you can lose interest. Some people feel that for whatever reason, whether it be religious upbringing or lack of knowledge plays a roll, being adventurous in their intimate lives is wrong. Well I am here to tell you that those thoughts are totally wrong.

For whatever reasons you can come up with, if you communicate with your lover the fantasies you have, things you desire to try, etc and you can agree on them, why are they wrong?

Love can be expressed in many ways and especially for a man, lovemaking or sex is the ultimate in the expression of his feelings towards his lover. I suggest that you sit down together and discuss openly your fantasies and desires. Be totally honest with each other in your feelings of if you do or do not want to go down a certain path to fulfill a fantasy. Talk about it, talk about why or why not. Come to an agreement and be respectful of each others' position on the idea.

A few ways to jazz things up in your bedroom are:

• Learn about and try some adult romance ‘toys'.
• Invest in fun lingerie for both of you. There are some very nice matching sets that can heighten the mood. (Remember, visuals help with arousal)
• Use scented candles.
• Purchase a DVD or video on massage and invest in some massage oils, lotions and massagers.
• Watch erotic movies together.
• Roll play

Physical Issues

Perhaps one of you or both are having some dysfunction issues in the area of intimacy. If so, your partner is not to blame, it could be something that you need to seek a physician about and get resolution.

There is nothing to be ashamed about if you have these libido issues; your doctor has heard them before! Don't be afraid to talk to him or her about these things. It is better to go and find out that there is nothing wrong physically than to let something go for too long and be irreversible!