ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Is Cyber Sex Cheating

Updated on March 13, 2014

Cybersex - Is it Cheating?


The internet is an amazing thing. You can find anything you want on there.

Want to learn about how to choose an appliance? You can find that online. Need a menu idea for an upcoming dinner party? It's there.

Feeling a little ‘randy' and looking for some excitement? It's there too. So, is cyber sex cheating? Yes and no. Well, maybe. It depends.

After reading many articles and watching a recent discussion of this subject on a few talk shows. I have come to the conclusion that there is no finite answer.

The definition of cheating is really up to each individual. Or is it? Some feel that just looking at someone of the opposite sex that is not your partner is cheating. Now wait, that is human nature to look. Most people agree that cheating occurs when a person crosses over from thoughts to action.

Now, what is at the core of cheating? At the core of cheating are lies, deception and secrecy. If you are doing something that you don't want anyone finding out about, well that is wrong. If you don't feel that is cheating then at the very least it most defiantly is damaging to the relationship and breaks down trust. Do you not agree?

What about emotional cheating? Ok so you are talking to someone online about intimate things, sharing private and emotional things with them that you would not share with your partner. That person seems to be there for you more than your spouse. He or she has what you feel is a better understanding of you. But that can be deceiving. Anyone can be anyone online. You can be someone online that you are not in person. Hiding behind the anonymous screen name can lie all the things you WANT to be as a person but are not. And unless you have met that other person face to face, then you are being a part of their façade. Is it emotional cheating to be attached and involved with someone like that online? In my opinion YES!

If you feel any attachment and feel trust in that person and not your own partner, then most certainly that is an emotional affair and / or cheating.

Typically people turn to others because there are problems in their relationship and problems with themselves.

This article on WebMD sheds some light on the issue.

Cyber Straying: Is Online Sex Cheating?

He likes online porn. She thinks he's virtually cheating. Who's right?

By Louanne Cole Weston

WebMD Answers to Questions

Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD

Q: I made the mistake of clicking on a little email window that popped up on my husband's computer. I discovered that he's been surfing porn sites and going to chat rooms to have sex with other women online. When I confronted him, he didn't understand why I was upset. He said that having sex online was harmless and a way to "get off" without breaking his marriage vows (we've been married 10 years). What can I do?

A: This is a situation I see more and more often as the Internet becomes a staple in homes.

Two main issues are in play here: honesty and uncommunicated expectations. First, your husband offers an explanation for his behavior that is possible, but not highly believable. Unless he informed you or gave you the chance to participate in these activities, it was not an honest act on his part. He also brushed off a chance to set the record straight without lying.

Second, there's the issue of expectations you two have not discussed. This situation underlines the importance of checking in with one's spouse or partner about the various aspects of long-term relationships: finances, in-laws, jobs, children (if any), housekeeping, plans, and sex.

People assume that because they are with a person they know pretty well, they also know how their mate feels about these topics. Often they are wrong. This is what keeps marriage counselors busy.

So, even though you said your vows and have been together for a while, it sounds like the topic of online chatting and surfing porn sites never came up.

The Next Step

Sit down with your husband to have this discussion. If he has sexual desires that he talks about with women online, then ask him to tell you what those are. That way you have the opportunity to say, "Yes, I'll do that," or, "No, I won't." You can also ask what prompted him to think that he was doing right by you in this marriage by finding sexual satisfaction online.

Evaluate yourself as well: Have you been shutting him out sexually? Are you enjoying yourself when you have sex? Do you have fantasies of your own? Is it a time of connection between you? Are there risks that you might be willing to take in terms of new behavior?

Your husband may have sincerely thought that he was not straying from your marital vows, or he may be using the technicality that there was no physical contact to dodge the issue that he feels sexually dissatisfied in the marriage. In either case, talk about what sexual fulfillment means to both of you.

Married couples walk a fine line between cooperation with each other and control of each other when it comes to sex. You may want the help of a sex therapist to unravel this tangled situation and reassemble a situation that works for both of you.



working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)